From Confusion To Clarity

The Adventure of Seeking Wise Counsel

by Gauranga Darsana Dasa

I was once on a trip to Kanchipuram, a holy place located in Tamil Nâdu, one of the southern states of India. With my companions alongside, we were heading to the sacred site by car. And behind the wheel was one of our Tamil-speaking friends. 

That day, we planned to visit a particular ancient temple of Lord Vishnu, generally called divyadesam, that would serve as an en route stopover while on our way to Kanchipuram. Now, although this friend of ours knew that area, he wasn’t so sure of the temple’s precise location. 

Those were days when only one among us had a smartphone. Immediately, that friend pulled out his device and suggested that we make use of Google Maps to track down the temple. This was something new and exciting for me. He opened the app, typed in the location, and eventually we had an onscreen ETA (expected time of arrival) along with the route. I wondered at this marvel. Nowadays, it’s quite common even for kids and grandmas to use this Global Positioning System but back then, it was my first exposure to G-Maps, the modern-day equivalent of a guiding light.

We had fueled up the previous day, chosen our destination, planned our route meticulously, doing everything we could only so we could get to Kanchipuram on time. We were enjoying the ride, making light-hearted conversations and sharing smiles. 

However, as we absorbed ourselves in this mirthful mood, our dear friend in the driver’s seat took an inadvertent left turn, setting off on an unforeseen detour. Suddenly, the ETA bumped up. My friend quickly realized what he had done. “The path hereon will involve multiple turns,” he said. “Also, the lanes we’ll get into are narrowly sandwiched and so are the muddy pathways that follow.” 

These words struck me like a falling hammer. I was seeing all the effort and planning time being flushed down the drain. So far, our banter had served as an engagement but now was the time to pay for all that entertainment. But, luckily for us, we quickly realized what we were up for. Time loss, sticky roads and hairpin bends; this was going to be tedious. 

At that point, my friend spoke out. ‘Someone should sit next to me with the Maps turned on and direct me as I drive. Now we must be even more careful with the cows and kids that roam about on the road.’ 

I immediately volunteered. With the newfound miracle (G-Maps) in my hand, I began guiding my friend through the twists and turns of the journey, when finally, we arrived at the grand temple that sat on the bank of a beautiful lake. 

Just before we got out of the car, I shot a question at my friend. A question that had been buzzing through my head, the moment I familiarized myself with the GPS. “What happens if we take a wrong turn with the map turned on?” 

“Well, the moment you deviate from the right route, the map recalculates the optimal route, and shows you the next best path to your destination.”

Impressive, I thought. Isn’t that the role of a true guide in life? Redirecting us to the right way, the instant we move off track?

That day, I realized something beautiful. It’s a great fortune to have a mature guide in life, but a fortune still greater is approaching that guide in times of confusion. 

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Life is convoluted and distractions are bound to come. And at some point, we’ve all experienced an unexpected left turn and detour. But the difference is the name, that’s all. Some call those turns mental chaos and conflicting thoughts, while others call them ethical dilemmas and relationship pullbacks.

The absence of a clear road map often leads us down uncharted paths in life. But here’s a simple solution to never get stuck, no matter whatever path you tread. I call this an “internal reboot.”

So, how exactly does this work? Well, all you have to do is simply seek guidance from an experienced well-wisher or mentor, enabling you to recalibrate your internal compass, and thereby redirecting you towards purpose and fulfilment.

Personally, this is one of my favorite practices, where I offload all the stress of finding a way out, and instead let a seasoned well-wisher guide me through the tangles. Try this out and I would be glad to know how this worked for you.

Now allow me to present a scene from the ancient epic, the Bhagavad-gita. Arjuna, a celebrated warrior, is seen grappling with profound internal conflicts and confusion on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. Arjuna knew it was his right to fight for his lawful share of the kingdom, but he did not know whether fighting against his own relatives and family was okay. He was indecisive, thinking to himself, “Should I fight or not?” 

Now this is not simply an example of indecisiveness, but a classic representation of the human condition of seeking clarity amid confusion. What did Arjuna do then? He turned to his dear friend, well-wisher and guide, Lord Krishna. In a state of bewilderment, Arjuna maturely chose to seek Lord Krishna’s guidance. This is real intelligence—knowing what to do when we don’t know what to do! Something like our GPS. Amidst life’s dilemmas and times of turmoil, seeking guidance from an experienced well-wisher is beneficial. 

When I learnt this system of internal rebooting, the first couple of questions that came to my mind were: “Do I really need someone to guide me? Can’t I help myself on my own?” Well, let me share what I found . . .

Humility – The Mark Of True Intelligence

A basic problem all of us face is a strong sense of self-righteousness. Often, our ego glamorizes individualism and independence: “Be yourself, don’t depend on others.” Of course, we need to be self-dependent to a considerable extent, because overdependence on others strangles our own creativity and thoughtfulness. In life, we need to equip ourselves with the necessary experience and wisdom to address the inevitable challenges. Yet, however learned we may be, there is always a scope for learning more. 

Give this a thought. What do you think overdependence on oneself can do? I feel it cuts us off from opportunities that grant us access to higher wisdom. If we think we know a lot, we will be limited by what we know. But if we think we need to know a lot, this mindset will give us opportunities to grow and glow. 

A quick restart might help us cancel out functionality issues on our phone. But persistent device malfunctions may require the expertise of a technician. The solution to a mild headache may simply be adequate rest. However, when confronted with a significant health concern, relying on self-treatment may prove to be inadequate, necessitating a consultation with a medical professional. 

In the realm of life’s intricate challenges, seeking assistance becomes imperative when confusion and chaos exceed one’s resolution-finding capacity. Therefore, it is prudent to turn to individuals equipped with the capability to offer mature guidance and support. When the magnitude of your problem outsizes the ability of your intelligence to find a solution, humbly approach a reliable guide for an answer. Such humility is the mark of true intelligence.

Sometimes, we tend to think that we know the solution to our problem, and expect others to endorse it or at least assist us in implementing it. This is because we’re more interested in seeking support from their hand, not head. 

In contrast to this mindset, Arjuna expressed his condition to Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita (2.7) as follows: 

karpanya-doshopahata-svabhavah

pricchami tvam dharma-sammüdha-cetah

yac chreyah syan niscitam brühi tan me

sishyas te ‘ham sadhi mam tvam prapannam

“My mind is entangled in confusion about my duty. I have lost composure due to my weakness of heart. In this condition, I am asking You to please tell me for certain what is best for me. Now I am Your student surrendered unto You. Please instruct me.” 

My Cup Is Full!

Arjuna exemplifies the mood of seeking guidance—humility and meekness. Such meekness in seeking guidance is not a weakness but a great strength. In this way, if we open ourselves to the prospect of seeking help, while parking our self-acclaiming mindset away, we inch forward to personal growth and find better solutions. Admitting one’s weakness is strength that gives us access to greater strength.

When we overestimate our intelligence, we underutilize the opportunity to take benefit of a higher intelligence. So, mature guidance is vital for self-improvement. And that’s the first lesson from the Bhagavad-gita. We need to receive the counsel of an experienced guide with an open mind, stalling our ego, prejudice and preconceived notions. When your home-made techniques cannot address your sickness, you need to take advice from a reliable doctor, and follow it without arguments and doubts.

Think of a cup full of water. Can you pour milk or any kind of liquid into it without causing the contents to spill over? True intelligence lies in seeking guidance from a reliable source, with an open mind!

But who is such a capable and reliable guide? How in the first place do we find one? What does an authentic guide look like? Does a guide have distinguishing marks on the body or a stamp on the head? Well, the following is the answer you’ve been looking for. 

Guide Direction

Amongst many remarkable qualities of one who qualifies to be a good guide, I highlight five vital ones below, based on what I understood from my life’s experiences and how I received guidance in life.  

1. Well-wishing nature: The first distinctive quality of a guide is to be a genuine well-wisher. A genuineness check can filter out apparent well-wishers. And how do you carry out this test? Interact with the persons you consider to be your true well-wishers. Note how envious or non-envious they are of you. Then, identify how sincerely they rejoice in the success of those they guide. Also watch out for any taint of self-interest in their dealings with the ones they guide. At the end of this test, you would have found a genuine well-wisher. A good guide is a genuine well-wisher, free from envy. 

2. Practical Experience: Sometimes we may find a well-wisher who empathizes with our problems but can’t really offer a concrete solution. This may be due to a lack of practical experience. So, look out for seasoned people who can provide practical solutions. Please note that you can have multiple guides to help you in different aspects of your life. For solving day-to-day issues or professional dilemmas, you may consult guides who are experts in those fields, but while seeking guidance in your personal life and spiritual practices, you need mature guides. 

3. Emotional Sensitivity: We may have found a genuine well-wisher who has tons of experience but what if they really can’t understand our emotions? Well, it’s vitally important that we choose an emotionally sensitive person as our guide. A good guide provides both emotional support and rational advice. 

4. Empowerment: Sometimes, a guide may address a problem externally, or help us reconcile it internally. Not every problem under the sky has a solution, but whether there is a solution or not, we shouldn’t lose our morale and inspiration to move on in life. Mature guides play a key role in protecting our motivation, which is more crucial than addressing the integrities of an issue on the ground. Such guides equip us with philosophical and spiritual perspectives to help us rise above the problem. Empowered by such mature counsel, we will soon begin to experience the manifestation of clarity in our minds, which are overwhelmed and bewildered by the issue at hand. In the end, we will be able to unleash our inherent potential and grow beyond our problems. When resolving a problem is difficult, reconciling becomes practical. 

5. Connection: Generally, one who is a good student of a subject can become a good teacher. Likewise, one who has received good guidance can become an effective guide. So, we need to look for spiritual guides who are strongly connected to their mature guides, who in turn had deep bonding with their respective guides. Authentic knowledge, which originates from God, is transparently transmitted through a chain of loyal teachers and students, and when we get connected to this chain, we can be assured of the quality of guidance we are receiving. 

Life’s journey becomes enriching with a well-wishing guide capable of comprehending our emotions, providing rational counsel and whatever solutions are humanly possible. The hallmark of a true guide is the ability to balance emotion, rationality and practicality.

Practices For Inner Balance

1. Cultivate the Habit of Seeking Guidance: When faced with challenges in life, proactively seek guidance from experienced well-wishers or teachers, instead of relying solely on personal judgement.

2. Practice Humility in Seeking Help: When the intricacy of a problem is beyond your intelligence to resolve, humbly seek help from a reliable guide with an open mind, without ego or prejudice. 

3. Regularly Evaluate Your Life’s Path: Periodically assess your goals by reflecting on your purpose and decisions, and in case of confusion, seek guidance to realign your path and stay on course.

4. Balance Emotions and Rationality: Look for guides who not only empathize with your situation, but also provide rational solutions. 

5. Be a Genuine Well-Wisher: Strive to help others whenever you can. Balance empathy with practical advice, and sincerely celebrate their successes, free from envy.

Illuminate Your Path

In the grand tapestry of life, the need for guidance is both universal and timeless. Arjuna found guidance in Lord Krishna and his wisdom in the Bhagavad-gita. Similarly, today, turning to the same divine source can help us navigate life’s complexities. The wisdom gained from a genuine guide serves not only to navigate but also to enrich our journey with purpose and resilience. 

After hearing the entire Bhagavad-gita from Lord Krishna, Arjuna said: 

nashöo mohah smritir labdha

tvat-prasadan mayacyuta

sthito ‘smi gata-sandehah

karishye vacanam tava

“My dear Acyuta (Krishna), by your grace, all my illusion and confusions are cleared, and I have regained my memory and composure. I am now firm and free from all doubts. I am ready to act according to your advice.” (Gita 18.73)

Arjuna who had earlier said, dharma-sammüdha-cetah (“I am confused about my duty” is now saying, nashöo mohua (“All my confusions are cleared.”) That is the power of a genuine guide and the Gita wisdom—helping us to find clarity in confusion. 

That same Gita wisdom can also act as our guide today in addressing life’s perplexities. Although the Gita is an ancient text, its practical message offers solutions to present-day dilemmas. 

This is a chapter from the book “From Chaos to Calm” written by Gauranga Darshan Das, published by Penguin Ananda in July 2024. 

Gauranga Darsana Dasa (www.gaurangadarshan.com), a disciple of His Holiness Radhanath Swami, is the dean of Bhaktivedanta Vidyapiöha at ISKCON Govardhan Eco Village, outside Mumbai, and a member of ISKCON Board of Examinations. He is a sastric teacher and is the author of Gita Subodhini, Bhagavata Subodhini, Caitanya Subodhini, Disapproved but Not Disowned, Bhagavata Pravaha, and other books.